Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Martha Stewart... I am not!!!

Posted by Juliana at 10:19 AM

Do you ever wake up and wish you were Martha Stewart (minus the whole fraud/prison part)? I mean I would love to be able to wake up, make a homemade meal for my husband while packing him some scratch made fabulousness for lunch, feed my puppy and kitty some organic fancy food, take a bath, go to work with goodies for all my coworkers with my handmade scarf, then come home and cook, clean, and cuddle with honey. Okay, so I think that the only way that will ever happen would be if I were to go to sleep at 2 am and wake up at 4. Oh yeah and I would need a second job and would need to learn how to fold a fitted sheet- which no matter how many times I look at the directions on Martha Stewart’s website, I just cannot figure it out!

Well… since Martha Stewart, I am not, I have decided to create a blog with all my attempts to create works of art out of sugar, chocolate, and all other brands of yummy-ness!!! You see, I love to bake... and what do I love more than baking… eating sweets!! I know, terrible… blah blah blah… need to exercise… kiss my butt (yes I know, it would take you all day!). So as I try (and I really do mean try- don’t judge) to bake and have fun and decrease my level of stress, I would like to share with you (yes mom… I think it might just be you) my attempts at Martha Stewart greatness.

Yesterday was Day 1 of Martha Stewart greatness!!! Okay so I think it might have just taken 45 minutes to write the list and I was pretty much dumb enough to think that I would get everything done. I woke up at 5 am and started my list and got to work without crashing on the left over ice from the recent snow storm. I got pretty far surprisingly. Well… I did finish making a batch of scratch made sugar cookies that I rolled, cut out, and iced. I was going to go all fancy and flood the icing- yeah I was tired, I pretty much slapped some icing on and sprinkled some sprinkles and quit- not very Martha Stewart of me… I know. I took down my Christmas tree, rearranged my furniture, cleaned dog pee from my carpet (she looked right at me when she did it!), I even did some laundry. I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off. So by 11 pm last night I was EXHAUSTED. I collapsed and went to sleep… how does Martha Stewart survive?!?!

Day 2- I don’t like being Martha Stewart… it is hard and stupid and I am really sleepy! I woke up every hour with a dog that had diarrhea… probably the result of mixing stuff from the top of the trash can and a half a roll of toilet paper. Then diarrhea on the rug… by the door... in my living room!! Needless to say, I needed to stay home and take care of the puppy so my house would not be ruined. My puppy is Sasha and she is really sweet and cute… but good gracious she is a pain in my butt! So right now the plan is to make Chex mix, muffins, and maybe some chocolate chip cookies today- wish me luck.

So… I hope you enjoy reading my blog… all 1 of you (thanks mom!)!!!  Please let me know if you are dying to try a recipe but don’t feel like actually doing the work- I will do it for you!! I will probably spend a small fortune and all my family and friends will have a couple extra pounds to show for all my wonderful baking skills and I will enjoy every minute of it!!!

Happy Baking!!!

PS.  I am officially not trying to be Martha Stewart anymore… I have decided that she is either an alien or a robot and who wants to be one of those?!

1 comments on "Martha Stewart... I am not!!!"

Anonymous said...

Ummm....You are Welcome....Daughter!!! HaHa!! I love this!!! This blog is just as funny and wonderful as you are!! Daddy and I are totally able and willing to sample EVERYTHING!! You know where we live.....I know this because every time I am looking for something and can't find it.....I later find it AT YOUR HOUSE!!! Have fun doing this and I love it that I am your first comment!!! I love you!! Tell Sasha to stay out of the trash can....and No, you can't come and get mine!!! Mine keeps my dogs from doing that!!!
Stay "Sweet"!!

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